They like you. Whether you like it or not, you're in. A new chapter in crazy will be written in your life.

As the year comes to an end, and my secondary school career with it, I keep hearing one recurring sentence: "my friends mean everything to me" which is generally followed by "I don't want to leave them behind." I have concluded that I am a bad person, because looking at my friends there is a very short list of people that I do not want to leave behind. Most of my friends I wouldn't mind leaving behind. Don't ask me who you are, its better off this way.

Suicide. It's a touchy subject and one I feel most strongly about. What is typed in this post might make you hate me. You may also agree with me, but it'll most likely be the former.
    What I feel on suicide, is that it's pointless, meaningless death. You can't deal with life, so you take your own. What does this accomplish? You leave your loved ones alone and heartbroken, and you leave them to deal with your problems. Many people I know say "it takes courage to do something like that, they must have outstanding willpower." Since when can courage be measurable in the ability to take one's life? Yeah it takes willpower to do something like that, but if they had such outstanding willpower, why couldn't they face their problems alive? I say courage runs thin with these people. I wouldn't call them cowards, but in my opinion, they're pretty close.
    The scientist in me knows that there isn't anything after death, just the return to the earth. What could possibly be so bad that you feel you have to end your life? There's nothing for you afterwards that will be any better, just longer.
    People say that I feel this way about suicide because I don't know any people that have killed themselves. They say I have no right to even form an opinion on the topic. I say that you don't know me. I've known too many people that have killed themselves. People that have gone to my school, people that are related to me, friends. It doesn't matter the relation, I feel the same way. I will never talk about people that have killed themselves, I will never speak ill of them, nor speak great of them. If you kill yourself whatever respect I had for you is gone. I won't feel sorry for you, I'll feel sorry for everyone you left behind. Because if they can live on after what you've done, they're the ones with the courage.

Like I said, you may hate me for this, but this is me.
"When all the blandishments of life are gone, the coward sneaks to death and the brave live on"

Have you ever had a friend so great, that you'd give them up in a second?

A friend that you couldn't live without, but you'd cut loose, and live on anyway.
A friend that loves you, as you love them. Until you turn them away.
A friend that you'd need a good reason to leave, but you'd take the first reason.
A friend that would nod understandingly through bleeding mascara.
A friend that would wait for you to change your mind; in the freezing winter rain.
A friend that wouldn't call, or drop by as she knows you need space.

She might die out there for you. Waiting.
I have one of those friends.

Hollywood Miller. The nicname stems from a conversation I had with a friend a while ago. Her display name on MSN had the lyrics "The boy smiles just like Hollywood" from the Audition's song You Look Like I Need Another Drink. Me, being me, could not resist the opportunity to boost my own ego. I said "thats what the ladies call me, Hollywood. No one smiles like me." We had a laugh. So, the name kinda stuck because it has a nice ring to it. There you have it.

p.s. I'm not friends with her anymore. She kept my books. I kept the name. It was a win-win situation.